Angry face sculpture

Love and Anger

Angry face sculpture

Until I am the Buddha herself I will occasionally feel anger. And that’s OK.

The practice of opening the heart with Sheng Zhen Gong will overcome that anger every time.

I was at an event where the theme was love, unconditional love.  After a day or so there was a question/answer session with the main speaker during which a woman expressed that she didn’t feel loved or loving.  I had a hard time imagining how that could be at this point in the event. I was feeling all the love at that moment.  Later on in an informal conversation with a small group of participants I noted that when I heard her say this I didn’t  know whether to feel sad or angry.  Someone replied with some force “Oh! Never angry!”  I was a little taken aback. She seemed to be angry at my anger or at least judgmental about my being judgmental.  There didn’t seem to be any recognition about the inconsistency of this.  I was aware that, at an event about unconditional love, anger was an inappropriate response.  I was acknowledging this.  I was confused at my own feelings. There was no further discussion and the subject quickly changed.

There is a difference between feeling anger, expressing anger and acting on anger.  We need to acknowledge when we feel anger.  We should probably even examine from where that anger comes.  That is how we change and grow.  My short lived feeling of anger at the unloving/unloved woman came from a feeling that she was being manipulative in order to receive more attention.  Since I know I can’t be manipulated like that against my will, it makes it easier to let go of the anger. Holding onto anger doesn’t hurt the person we are angry at, it only hurts ourselves.  But denying or repressing feelings of anger is not the answer. Forgiveness liberates us.

I did get to know the woman who expressed her feelings about love and I realized she was as conflicted as I was about her statement.  She just felt safe to express her feelings and isn’t that what unconditional love is supposed to do – make us feel safe? She was feeling the love but maybe she just didn’t recognize it.

The picture is of a Buddha Guardian head that I took at the Buddhist Temple in Nara Japan in 2010.

4 thoughts on “Love and Anger

  1. This made me chuckle as I recognized the mix of emotions and sometimes frustrations that come up at these types of events.And, as you mentioned, forgiveness is the ultimate answer. I love the picture too! Thanks Eli!

    1. Sometimes these events are so messy emotionally. But I always feel good about them over the long term and, goodness knows, I always learn something about myself.

  2. Thanks for sharing this – Like Malia, it can get a little funny when the dog is wagging the tail about the emotions and how we are “supposed” to be! It is especially prevalent among the caring lovely people who want harmony and yet the discrepancies are unavoidable. It’s why I try not to judge anything as good or bad because context really is the main point. I do get to decide my personal preferences – and – I can respect others the more I understand how incredibly subjective the life experience is for each of us. I find that resistance to things (especially the so-called negative things) can be more problematic for us than the things themselves! Like anger.

  3. It is so true that everyones context is different. I try hard not to be judgmental too, but it appears that some people can’t believe that anyone can be that way. Resistance is futile.

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