Tag Archives: TEDxMaui

Eliminate the Negative

Relaxed wrist

Language is important. Negative language can have a powerful effect on who we are talking to. And probably an effect that we really don’t want.

Let me start with a real life example.

I was practicing qigong with a new teacher. We didn’t really know each other and it was just practice, not a class. I was following his movements and when we got to one of the movements he said “Don’t bend your wrists like that.” All qi flow stopped. What should I do? Fortunately, I remembered another teacher that when making a similar movement had suggested in a gentle and general way to “relax the joints and flex the wrists just slightly.” What a difference the two approaches had on me. In the latter I was given a better way. In my head I was saying “Yes, that is nice. It feels good.”

Negative statements frequently leave us with nothing to do. There is no action to take. It leaves us feeling powerless. Positive statements that suggest an action give us something to do. When we are about to make a negative statement we can take an extra second and think of a way to say what we want positively, in a gentle and encouraging way. Instead of telling a child not to run around, we can tell them to please walk. I heard a mother tell a group of rowdy teenagers in a grocery store to please be mindful of the people around them and behave in a courteous manner. Using positive statements make us feel better as well. It’s a kinder way. Using positive words opens our hearts.

Next we need to apply this to the way we talk to ourselves. Be positive and kind. Tell yourself what you want to do, how you want to act.

I started thinking about this subject a long time ago, but recently at TEDx Maui 2013 there were two talks related in some way to this idea.

Kim Rosen: Remembering Our First Language: Poetry As Medicine For Our Time

Jenelle Peterson: Engaging Students In Conversations That Matter

 

Open Mind – Open Heart and TEDxMaui

I’m pretty sure an open heart leads to an open mind. Keeping an open heart is a hard thing to do on an everyday day all day basis. Stuff happens and defensively we close up. I think an open mind leads to an open heart. The more we know and understand the less fear we have and the safer we feel. Then it is easier to open our hearts.

In less than two weeks we, on Maui, have an exceptional opportunity to open our minds.  I heard of TED a long time ago and have listened to many 20 minute talks on line and many have inspired me. Last year I worked at the TEDxMaui for half a day, listening to a few of the talks.  They were truly amazing! This year I have a ticket.

I only saw a few last year. Here is my favorite TEDxMaui 2012. Lani Medina Weigert & Pomai Weigert – Lessons of Sustainable Aloha 

The first TED talk I listened to is Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability.

If you follow my Facebook Page or Twitter feed I’ll post some more inspiration in the next few days. Just click on the icons on this page to follow.

TEDxMaui is Sunday, January 13 at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center in Kahului.